Can't Win Em All, I guess...

   Well, after my great day on Friday, I've been a little nervous about posting anything less than perfect. That's the only trouble with those "great days," as awesome as they are, anything short of them sort of pales in comparison! I've definitely not had as fantastic days as Friday-but at the same time I think I could have done a lot worse, too.
   As I mentioned in the last part of Friday's post, I did have a date that night. We met up for drinks at a local bar, and since I knew I'd be doing that, I didn't eat any dinner. Instead I saved whatever calories I would have used on dinner for my signature cocktail: Vodka and Club Soda with EXTRA Lime! It has between 75-100 calories, depending on the proof of the Vodka and how generous the shot is. I ended up having about 2 more than I should have, making my total between 225 and 300cals, but before that my total for the whole day had still been just under 200. Even though I would have liked to have exercised the will power to just have one drink and call it a night-that was apparently not in the cards lol.
   Also not in the cards? Keeping my self-respect. OH yes-I definitely went home with my date despite a complete lack of attraction or interest, just because I felt OBLIGATED. Pretty fucked up what we do to ourselves sometimes, huh? Like, why on Earth did I feel obligated to go home with someone I just met, and wasn't attracted to, and didn't really ever want to see again? Because I'm nuts, that's why. There just came a point in the night where I was like..."If I was going to go home, I should have by now...guess I'm going home with this winner right here..." Anyway, I woke up in their bed SICK AS A DOG! I had kind of started to feel the beginnings of a cold earlier in the day, but had taken some Vitamin-C with Rose Hips to try and stave it off...didn't quite work, although, I'm sure the alcohol and um...*other* activities didn't help very much. Talk about Karma, though!
   So, I left at around 10:30am and went straight to the store to buy some groceries and Cold/Flu medicine. I needed to re-up on some fruits and broccoli, and of course I splurged on a bunch of other stuff that I thought I just HAD to have! Like SmartBacon Veggie Protein Strips...they are really good and only 20cal per strip, and it's all protein! But they, like most specialty vegetarian items, were not cheap. I also got some veggie chicken nuggets, which only have 140cal in 4 nuggets. Some WASA crispbread as a bread substitute, it is multigrain and only 40cal per slice. Then a bunch of throat lozenges, and Alka-Seltzer Cold, and 10 fucking bottles of SoBe "Life Water" (just because each bottle has 100% of your daily Vitamin C value, and I'm sick so I thought that sounded like a great idea, lol) Ya, I went a little over board.
   I had been planning on doing a 5-mile hike with my friend, but I was feeling pretty awful and not sure if that was going to happen. After taking some medicine and eating a small breakfast (Egg whites, 60cal, Wasa bread, 40cal), it was really clear that I wasn't going to be able to handle a 5 mile hike. I was sneezing and coughing and blowing my nose every 5 minutes, which I didn't think would be very appreciated by my friend. So I told her I had to pass, but that hopefully I'd be fine by next Saturday.
   Rest of yesterday was pretty uneventful, all I did was sleep and take medicine every 4 hours. I didn't get any exercise in like I had planned, but I was also really good and didn't eat too much. My total for the day after lunch (Luna bar, 180cal) and a bunch of random snacks (Babybel, 50cal, 4 Veggie Nuggets,140cal, 2tblsp Ranch, 30cal) was right around 500, so I didn't feel too terrible. I did go over to my other friend's house for gamenight, where I did give in and have a lemon cookie, but I only had one and they were really small, about the size of a silver dollar-so I doubt they could have been more than 50-60 each, which still leaves me under 600 for the day.
   Today, though, has been kind of rough. I had planned to go to Hot Yoga at 10am, and despite still being sick and feeling like shit, I told myself that I HAD TO GO! So, I forced myself to get up, get dressed, and go to the Hot Yoga studio. Now, for those of you who don't know, Hot Yoga is basically 100 minutes of high-intensity Yoga in 100 degree heat. It is supposed to be really great for your joints, loosen you up, and boasts the ability to burn between 500 and 900 calories in a single session. I've done it before, but never sick...and WOW, was it ridiculously difficult. Towards the end I didn't know if I was going to last for the full 100 minutes, I was having trouble breathing and afraid of passing out. So the last couple of positions I sort of half-assed, there was no way some of them were going to happen without me collapsing!
   When I left, I felt like i had been hit by a train. And yet, the crazy part is that I was still glad I went. I thought, "Well, you may feel worse than ever-but just think of all the calories you burned!" Ha. Well, I still hadn't eaten breakfast, so when I got home I made some egg whites and Veggie Bacon (100cal together). I over cooked the bacon a little, though, and in order to make it taste better I put some salsa on it, which may have added between 10-20 cal. I've been drinking nothing but Alka-Seltzer medicine water and Life Water, but have been getting cravings all day for BAD FOOD! I kept fighting it off by having a 1/4 piece of matzo, (around 30cal), and then a string cheese (50cal), but nothing really seemed to help.
   See, the problem is that my roommate, whom I really do love, also has an affinity for TERRIBLE FOOD! So, I can buy nothing but fruit and veggies, but then still have to stare at her Triple Chocolate Ice Cream, and Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, and Chocolate Fudge, and Nutella in the fridge/freezer/cabinets! It's so difficult sometimes! Well, at around 5, I gave in to a "Mini-Binge": about 5 break off squares of chocolate chip cookie dough with about a cup of triple chocolate ice cream! OMFG, it was SOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOD!!!!! It was like heaven in my mouth (That's What She Said!). But, of course, once I realized what I had done and how many calories I had just consumed and how I ruined whatever benefits from Hot Yoga I would have gotten, I promptly went to the bathroom and purged everything. Luckily, ice cream is one of the easiest foods to purge and one of my favorite binge foods for that reason. Still, it took me about 20 minutes to get everything out, and with being sick, I felt extremely light-headed and dizzy when I was done. That was about 3 hours ago now, and all I've ingested since then is 4oz of water with my medicine.
   I'm not really looking forward to weighing myself and taking pictures tomorrow, as I'm worried I haven't lost much weight in spite of how hard I've been working. Not to be TMI, but I've also haven't been able to go to the bathroom in nearly 3 days now-so even though I've been burning more calories than I've been eating, I feel all backed up and bloated. My period finally ended, thank god, but I'm thinking I might have to take some laxatives or something tonight before getting on that scale tomorrow!
   Well, I'm falling asleep typing this-I think its all the cold medicine. Until tomorrow!

LM

You must promise not to laugh...

OK.
   Since it had been so long since I had been able to write, and now that I am back and re-devoted to my weight loss goals more than ever, I decided to go back and read all my previous posts to remind myself where I was at right before my Dad went in the hospital. Well, I realized that my last post had been shortly after I returned from my trip to Wisconsin, and when I had left my camera battery there AND had the batteries in my scale die! I had promised to start posting some pictures once I got both of those integral pieces of equipment up and running, so, I have dutifully taken some photographs.

   Of course, I got my period this morning-so on top of my debilitating cramps and lower back pain, I've also been the lucky winner of TWO-COUNT 'EM-TWO extra pounds of bloated grossness. Perfect timing for picture taking. {Note my sarcasm} Anyway, I'm not going to let that cause me to go back on my promise-so I'm still posting the pics, which means my devotion to this cause can NEVER be questioned, lol. Try not to gag, whether at my body or my ridiculously messy bathroom.


Here is a front view. As you can no doubt see, I carry most of my weight in the stomach, hip, and thigh areas. I have a pretty small upper body and (tragically) only wear an A-cup. I would also like to have a moment of silence for my mis-matched bra and panty combo. NOTE: This is what happens when you aren't getting any action.

And how could my humiliation be complete without a side view? I'm just kidding...I mean, not entirely, but I am voluntarily posting these in the hopes that having them public will help in my motivation to lose the extra weight I've gained. The plan is to post new pics once a week here. They will be on Mondays, today's is the exception as it is the first one and I didn't want to wait another week. Hopefully we'll be able to start seeing a difference soon!

Sorry for the bad lighting and flash on this one-not that it hinders reading those dreaded fucking numbers! Here I was thinking I had only gained 4-5lbs...well, thanks to everyone's favorite monthly visitor, lets make that 6-7lbs. Oh yes. 108 to 110 overnight. Thanks, bloating. FML.
   I actually took about a 45 minute break today and wrote out a ridiculously long post explaining what my plan for losing weight is the next month, with what I'll be doing the same and what I'll be changing around. However, it really is absurdly and unnecessarily long, especially since I realized that a lot of it I'm repeating things I said in my first or second post regarding certain foods and products. Thus, in order to respect both your time and mine, I'm instead just going to briefly write about only the things I am trying/doing that are different. 
   The biggest thing that I'm doing that I have never tried before is Hot Yoga. Also known as Bikram Yoga, I've done it about 4 times before, but always sporadically and never as a part of my regular diet and exercise routine. I found a local studio that has 10 classes for $100, which I thought was pretty fair. I'm thinking that I'll go twice a week for 5 weeks and see how I feel about it. In conjunction with my mostly negative-calorie diet and cardio exercises, I'm hoping this addition will really boost my weight loss.
   Next, I'm trying to add more fiber to my diet without a ton of calories in order to lessen water weight, constipation, and bloating which always seem to become problems for me at some point when I'm living on under 500 cal/per day and exercising 2+ hours. I'm doing this both with fiber supplements added to beverages and ground flax seeds that I can sprinkle into anything (yogurt, cereal, oatmeal...)
   In the same sort of "digestive health" vein, I'm also exploring some products and services that claim to promote colon cleansing and detoxifying. I kind of mentioned colon hydrotherapy in my last post, and my appointment is tomorrow morning at 9am. I'm a little anxious about it, but at the same time extremely intrigued. If it gets too weird or uncomfortable, I may not go through with it-but I am certainly going to make a good-faith effort. Additionally, I bought a product called "Colon Cleanse" (clever, eh?) that is basically pure psyllium husk (parts of a seed from a Middle Eastern plant that aids in digestion) which you mix into 8oz of liquid.
   Anyway, I'm sure that tomorrow's post will be very interesting. Any readers ever tried colon hydrotherapy? I'm going to see if they let me take pictures or anything. Maybe they'll even let me just sit with my laptop and blog, lol! Until tomorrow ~

LM