Back in the USA!

Hey everyone!
   The giant gap in posting has to do with my roomie's emergency surgery being RIGHT before I had to leave for Antigua, so between spending all my time at the hospital, packing, driving all the way down to Miami for the flight, and leaving...I didn't have a spare minute to think, let alone post. Then, once I was in Antigua...of course my cell phone didn't work without charging me $19.95 per MB transferred, and I didn't bring my laptop because I was afraid of something happening to it. SOOOOOO, ya. BUT, I'm finally home!!
   I got back in the country last night, and got a good night's sleep...and now I am ready to majorly fill you guys in! As far as my roommate, thanks so much for your concern. It actually was/is pretty serious, but she's going to be OK. She has something called Ulcerative Colitis, which is basically an inflammatory disease of the large intestine. It's extremely painful, and she ended up having to have part of her intestine removed. She's doing a lot better now, and luckily they didn't have to do one of the more extreme surgeries where the entire colon is removed and them you have to have a colostomy bag...which is kinda of gross. They only had to remove a small part, so she is recovering well now. I'm really happy that she's doing better, but she is still in some pain and won't be able to work for another few weeks. Her room is also upstairs, and since the srugery she can't go up and down stairs very easily, which means she has been living on the couch in the living room. Obviously, she's sick and needs to be there...but I can't imagine another 3 weeks of not being able to use the living room or TV there, so I'll probably try and not be home as much as possible so that I don't feel locked in my room.
   And, for the more relevant (to this blog) news...I have good and bad regarding my weight, the wedding, and the dress. The bad news, is that with all of the time I ended up spending at the hospital and the tight travel schedule, I ended up not being able to get in very much exercise in those last days before I left. So, I never reached my 99lb goal. Ugh, that hurts just typing it. HOWEVER, that is the only bad news, and despite not getting under 100lb before leaving, I also didn't gain ANY WEIGHT. Which, to me, is a small victory in and of itself, considering the lack of exercise and some of the awful hospital food I ate. When I left for Antigua, I was still exactly 105lbs...however, because of everything, I didn't have the time to take pictures. I did take pictures at the wedding though...IN MY SIZE ZERO DRESS!!!! Ya, that's basically the best news....that even with not getting down to 99lbs, that Nanette Lepore dress I ordered somehow, magically, miraculously, managed to zip up and fit for the wedding!!! I don't know how it happened, but I'm not going to question it. I'll just accept the gift!!
   The wedding was absolutely gorgeous, the resort was fabulous, and it was so amazing to see so many of my friends again in one place when I hadn't seen a lot of them in over a year. What I was worried about, of course, was eating at the resort-it was an all-inclusive deal, so all your meals and drinks were free. Well, not "free"-you pay for it in the price of the resort, but you don't have to think about it while you're there, which is really awesome. However, I was concerned with there just unlimited amounts of free food everywhere, that would lead me to binge and purge constantly. Well, I was there for four days, and ate 3 meals a day every day, and then drank alcohol at night...and only purged one time the entire time I was there. Here is the strangest part: I felt AMAZING! Like, I felt great in all my outfits, everything fit me, I felt good in all of my bathing suits...I have really never experienced anything like it before. I felt healthy, and balanced, and like even though I was eating 3 meals a day, it was ok. I didn't feel like I was gaining weight, I was having regular BMs (the more PC way to say bowel movements, lol), and I just felt good about myself for the first time in a long time.
   I've been trying to figure out what it was about the trip that made me feel so good. I think it was a combination of things. First, it wasn't like a normal hotel-style resort. It was 30 individual cottages, each held two people, and they were staggered into the natural mountain side. I happened to be in the cottage that was the furthest up the mountain, so going back and forth from the beach, the pool, the dining area and my cottage was actually quite a hike, and it was uphill. I made the trip back and forth at least 10 times a day, so I think that part of why I didn't feel like I was gaining weight was all of the exercise I was getting that was built into the trip. Then, I pretty much spent all of my time swimming, either in the ocean orin the pool. Swimming burns a TON of calories, so I think that helped, too. Finally, the way the meals were set up, was that breakfast and lunch was buffet-style, and dinner was sit down-style with a menu.
   The buffets had very few vegetarian options, so for breakfast every day I really didn't have anything too different from what I was having at home. The only thing I could eat was the eggs and the fruit, really...everything else was come form of meat. And the eggs weren't pre-made, there was an actual station where they cooked everything to order for you, so you could request only the whites. So, every day for breakfast all I had was egg whites with chopped mushrooms, some strawberries and watermelon, and black coffee. Very little calories in all, and yet it was quite filling and all I usually wanted/needed after the previous night of wine-drinking, lol. Lunch was the same, very little vegetarian options. There was always three different kinds of meats, and then salad and some sides. So each day I pretty much ate a giant plate of lettuce with balsamic vinegar, and whatever side didn't have meat mixed in. One day there was this delicious looking chick pea and artichoke heart salad that look amazing that I wanted to try so badly, but they had to go and mix in bacon, so I couldn't have it. The worst thing I had the whole trip was some pasta one day, but I had only a half cup and didn't put any cheese or sauce on it, just topped my salad with it and ate it with vinegar. Dinner had three menue options that changed each night, but it was always 1 meat dish, 1 fish dish, and 1 vegetarian dish...so that was pretty much picked out for me! One night it was a grilled porobello mushroom with no bun (it was like they KNEW!), one night it was roasted vegetables in a lemon-butter sauces, and another night it was a Carribean-style rice and beans sort of casserole. Really, the meals couldn't have been more perfect for my situation. I was able to sit down and eat three times a day with everyone, so that no-one was wondering why I wasn't eating or anything, and still in reality stick pretty well to a very low calorie, low carb intake.
   The wedding was absolutely beautiful, and my friend looked so gorgeous. I took about a kajillion pictures, and I'll post soem of them just so you can see how pretty it was. The worst part of the whole trip was just a little bit of sadness I felt that she had moved on to another stage in her life, had found love, etc...and that I am nowhere close. I know that sounds a bit selfish, but of course I never expressed that. But I really don't think it's that abnormal for single people to have those feelings at weddings. It didn't help that literally all of the other guests aside from me and my friend Roberto were couples-and they were all taking those lovely beach-couple pictures. You know the poses-kissing in the sunset, holding hands in the sand, etc. Which just left me and Roberto taking pictures of trees and leaves and shit, haha. Anyway, I think that if that was the worst part, then it was pretty great overall. I'm so happy I went, and you know what the best part is? I left at 105lb, and came back at 104lb! So even with the meal schedule, I actually LOST a pound while I was there, which like I said, I think has something to do with how effing far up a mountainside my cabin was, and all of the swimming.
   I'm still at my parents' place at the moment, won't be returning home until Sunday morning. I figured with my roommate living on the couch, I may as well stay away as long as possible, plus, this weekend is Father's Day! But, my dad is actually flying to Washington, D.C. on Saturday to spend it with my sister and her kids, since they haven't seen him since his surgery. Which, by the way, he has been recovering AMAZINGLY! Even faster than the doctors predicted, and he returned to work last week! I'm just so happy that he is doing wo well after such a traumatic surgery, that I wanted to really do something special for him this father's day. So even though he is leaving Saturday, I'm going to take him out Friday night. The only catch is, since his heart surgery, he has a pretty restricted diet, so I can't just take him to his favorite place and let him have his favorite meal like I wish I could-so instead I'm going to cook a really healthy meal for him at home, and then take him out to South Beach, Miami for a live flamenco show, which he has always wanted to see. Also, he has these storage sheds outside in the backyard that have been through three hurricanes now, and are completely falling apart. But, since he has been recovering from quadruple-bypass surgery, it hasn't exactly been a priority. So I also ordered two new storage sheds from Lowe's, which I'm picking up tomorrow morning. I'll then spend the day while he's at work assembling them and transferring all the stuff over from the other ones, and then throwing the old ones out. I know he's going to love it!
   Since this post is so long, I'll end it here and do another post for the pictures. An all-picture post! I took ones this morning of the scale, front, side, collar bone...and then I have some wedding pictures, and specifically one of me in THE DRESS!! I'll post them in the next hour! I have to re-do my weight goals and dates, too, but I probably wont get to mapping that out until later tonight or tomorrow morning. Until then-thanks for reading, and stay strong!

LM

Being Home is No Holiday!

Hey there, everyone!
   I got to my parents' place today, and finally got up the nerve to get on a scale for the first time since my birthday, which was Tuesday. As you know, the night before I had managed to get down just under 105lbs after a whole weekend of fasting and exercising. That felt SO good!
   The morning of my birthday, I let myself have a breakfast of 1/4cup egg whites (25cal) and 1 Fiber One yogurt (50cal). Even though it was a breakfast of only 75cal, it was incredibly difficult for me to make myself eat anything after the 3 days of fasting. But, I knew that my friends were taking me out to a great restaurant for dinner that night, and that I wanted to try and enjoy that birthday dinner as much as possible-which meant not making my first bite of dinner my first bite in nearly 4 days. I wanted to gradually build up to it so it wouldn't be impossible to do. Later for lunch I had 1 Wasa Crsipbread (45cal) with 1 Laughing Cow French Onion Light Spreadable Cheese Wedge (35cal) and some Spicy Olive topping (15cal), meaning I managed to keep my breakfast and lunch a little under 200cal. After lunch I worked out for about 1 1/2 hours, did about 45 minutes (400cal) on the treadmill, then did 2 miles on the stationary bike (which actually burns way less calories than you would think...the machine only said like 22cal when I was done!) and some free weights for my arms.
   I was feeling pretty confident that I'd done enough to allow myself to indulge for my birthday dinner. And indulge I did. I had an appetizer of Mushroom Crostinis, which were little pita triangles covered in gorgonzola cheese, olive oil, sauteed onions and Portobello mushrooms...they were TO DIE FOR! But, the plate came with four of them, and I only ate two and gave the rest away. THEN I had a Caprese salad, which was four giant, thick slices of tomatoes topped with equally giant, think slices of mozzerella, with basil and balsamic vinegar. ALSO ridiculously good, and again, I had two of the four and gave the rest away. Here comes the worst of it: Entree and Dessert. Oh yes...it was bad. For dinner I chose the Three Cheese Tortellini in White Truffle Sauce (which was EXACTLY as mind-blowingly amazing as it sounds) and for dessert I had the chocolate layer cake. With the tortellini, I asked for a to-go box and put half of it away before I started eating, so that I wouldn't eat more than half. With the cake, I only had two bites and then passed it around the table for everyone to try...between the 7 of us, it wasn't hard to get everyone else to eat it. Still, though...compared to the 3 1/2 days before that meal, which was nothing + 170cal-that meal was BEYOND sinful. It was so awesome though, that I just kept telling myself "It's your BIRTHDAY! You're allowed to have this one great meal with your friends!" and "You can work it off the rest of the week!"
   What I hadn't really thought of or accounted for, however, when I made my weight-loss goals and schedule, was that literally the VERY NEXT MORNING after my birthday, I was leaving to visit my friend until today...and that RIGHT from her place, I was coming to see my parents until Tuesday. The reason this is such a problem, is that as most of you know, it is infinitely more difficult to stick as rigidly to your diet and exercise routines in front of other people, especially if those other people know about your ED and are hypersensitive to everything to do with food and exercise. I wasn't too bad while I was at my friend's...the worst thing I ate was some vegetable fried rice, and I only had about 1/2 cup. But the problem was, even though I wasn't going crazy and eating like a madwoman-I wasn't getting in my normal amount of exercise. The 45 minutes of floor exercise and ab work I was able to squeeze in before she woke up in the mornings was really nothing compared to what I was doing before I left. I wanted to weigh myself SO BADLY so that I could get my bearings and try and evaluate how many lbs my birthday dinner had cost me and how far I had to go till my next Monday weigh in...but she doesn't own a freaking scale! UGH
   Like I said in the beginning of this post, I finally did get to a scale today...and it was so depressing that I think it was borderline traumatic. 109lbs. You know that moment when you step on a scale, and you KNOW you've gained weight, but you're hoping it's only a little bit, or within a certain range? Like, I was silently praying and wishing to myself in my head "Please don't be over 107, please don't be over 107..." over and over again. When that 109 popped up, I almost fainted I was so heartbroken. I went into my room and just sat on the bed rocking back and forth, crying, on the verge of hyperventilating. My initial thought after I calmed down a bit, was that last weekend I went from 110.6 to 104.2 in only 3 days, so it is not out of the realm of possibility that I could go from 109 to 103 by Monday night.
   The problem is, last weekend I was at my own apartment, with my own privacy and the freedom to do whatever I wanted. I was able to eat nothing, exercise to my heart's content...and even do hot yoga (for which there is NOT a studio where my parents live!). Now I'm home, and although my parents don't exactly watch me 24/7, and we don't really sit down for meals together unless we're dining out...it is still extremely hard for me to hide eating nothing from them. Eventually, I get asked "When was the last time you ate?" or "What did you have for ________ ?" PLUS, in addition to fasting being so impossible when I'm home, I don't have access to the same exercise equipment and studios that I do where I live. I already said there's no Hot Yoga studio here, but at my apartment I have a 24 hour gym, and here...well, I don't. Which means anything I want to do for exercise I'll have to either do behind closed doors in my room, or try to escape for long enough to actually run a few miles or go to a park.
   The only thing I ate today was dinner at this little Italian place my parents love-which was good, but super fattening and calorie packed...which is why I purged it as soon as we got home. I was a little nervous they would catch on, but luckily my dad was tired and went to bed and my mom went to run some errands, so I was able to just purge undeterred for like 20 minutes in the bathroom. I've been drinking a ton of tea and water, and took double the amount of fiber supplements, trying to force my body to eliminate some of the water weight and cleanse out what I can. Going to go for a run in the morning before my parents wake up-Sunday is the only day that both of them have off, so they always sleep in-which will let me be gone for a solid 2 hours or so before they get up.
   Basically, I'm going to try my best to do everything I can to get my weight as low as possible by Monday night-but I'm not overly optimistic that I'm going to be able to reach my 103 goal. Right now I kind of just hope I can get it down to at least 105 or so, so that when I get back to MY LIFE on Tuesday, I can spend the whole week instead of just a weekend doing whatever I have to do to reach my next goal.
   Sorry this was so long, but I hadn't been able to sit down and write a reall post in a few days. Thanks so much for reading and your support! Special shout out to Liz for always hitting me up with great comments =) Wish me luck for tomorrow and Monday, I'll post Monday night with my weekly update and pics--no matter how dismal they are. Good night, and stay strong!

LM

Well, I did it!

   That's right, I actually went through with my colon hydrotherapy appointment yesterday morning! It was pretty weird at first, and I was definitely very nervous and even a little embarrassed in the beginning. I wasn't sure that I was going to be able to go through with it...ESPECIALLY when I saw the tube thing that was supposedly going in me!!

   Well, as it turns out, the tube really only goes in no more than an inch-and it is very very small in diameter, even smaller than a finger. I'm not sure how much of a comfort that sounds like to anyone who has literally NEVER had ANYTHING in that, ah hem, region...but it truly is not difficult to handle, and actually not even uncomfortable. There is an initial sense of discomfort, however, it is much more mental than physical. I think that the fact that I have done small, at-home enemas in the past may have made the process a little easier-just because I learned a while ago that the best approach, so to speak, really is to relax. 

   With all that being said, I'm sure that the only thing anyone actually wants to hear about is the result! Unfortunately, at the end of the 45-minute session, I didn't lose any weight at all. In spite of this, I somehow felt much lighter, and also much healthier. I'm not really sure how to explain the feeling, because don't get me wrong-I was VERY disappointed about the lack of tangible weight loss-and yet, I really did feel internally as though I were 5 lbs lighter. Without getting too gross, plenty of *stuff* came out during the session, and I think that although whatever came out may not of weighed very much, it had probably been taking up a lot of space inside of me! Just having it out felt really good, and actually, it helped lessen some of my cramping and lower back pain that I had been experiencing from my period. 

   I spoke to the "colon hydrotherapist" afterwards about all of this, and asked if it was normal for someone to experience no actual weight loss. She explained that while most people do experience at least some weight loss with their first session, it is not unheard of for someone not to. She then asked me if I had ever done an enema before, or a cleanse, and also asked about my diet. Obviously, I wasn't going to admit that I was bulimic-but I explained that I am a vegetarian, that I add fiber supplements to a lot of food, that I take Miralax daily, and that I have done simple home enemas before. She said that all of that explained why I hadn't experience the same results as most first-time clients. 

   Basically, she explained that most people have never and will never do any kind of colon cleanse or home enema unless it is doctor prescribed before a surgery (like a colonoscopy). Additionally, most people are not vegetarians, and do not get enough fiber in their diets. Combine those factors with the typical American diet that is high in trans fat, preservatives, chemicals, etc-and she said most people have a LOT of CRAP (haha, figuratively and literally) and toxins to get out of their system. Because I've been a vegetarian for close to 6 years now, and do try to keep my digestive system relatively regular with the aid of supplements and gentle laxatives, she said that the majority of my toxins and waste is probably much more impacted and deeper than what is removed in the first session. 

   With all that being said, I still don't know how much of that is total BS and how much of it is true. I did a lot of research before getting the procedure, and I've done some after regarding her explanation to see if it has any merit. While I've found some evidence that she was being truthful, a lot of it comes from other websites promoting colonics, which makes me question their credibility or whether they are all in on this scheme to convince people to pay up to $150 per session for 6 sessions by telling people that more will come out in the next session. Luckily, the place I had it done at is $75 per session-however that is still not cheap! 

   In evaluating my experience, I decided to book a second session. I figure, for one more session, I can see if she was BSing me or not about how the results would be better if I did it again AND worst case scenario, I still don't lose any weight-but I still feel better again. My next appointment is for June 2, as I'll be out of town next week and didn't really know about the safety issues in having two in the same week. I also tried to take some pictures, but they aren't very good quality as they were just with my phone!

   So this one I took while I was laying in the bed/basin thing...I actually don't really know what to call it. These are my legs under the blanket. I probably should have explained somewhere that there are two kinds of colonics, "closed" and "open." I had an "open" one. I'm not sure how to explain the difference without getting really graphic and gross-so I'll do my best and just hope that we are all adults! Plus, If you're still reading, then you probably aren't that bothered, right? So, a "closed" system involves a slightly bigger tube going slightly further in, and it basically blasts water inside of you and then vacuums or sucks everything out, and repeats. In an "open" system, its just the little thin tube that only goes in an inch, and nothing sucks anything out, it is allowed to just come out naturally. So when you look at that picture, the sheet is covering my bottom half which is basically on a big toilet. I don't know how else to say that...so the water goes in you, and you just release when you feel the urge, it is just constantly flushed away underneath you. 

   This picture is of the tube that you can watch everything come out of, if you so choose. In the beginning it was really intriguing and I was watching, but after a few minutes I decided to just lay back, relax, and not strain my neck trying to see everything. It's so strange how something can be both disgusting and fascinating at the same time! I never thought that this would be something I would even DO, let alone DO and WATCH...but its funny how our own bodies amaze us. As you can see, nothing was really coming out when I took this one. 

   Here you can see that I didn't lose any weight. They have a scale in every room for you to weight yourself before and after, which leads me to think that the woman was probably being honest about most people experiencing more dramatic results-because I don't think they would encourage you to measure it before and after RIGHT THERE unless they were relatively confident that you would be pleased. Anyway, as you can see, it is smack dab on 110, exactly what it was when I went to bed the night before.  

   And that about wraps up my post on my colon hydrotherapy experience! I meant to post this yesterday, but didn't have time to load the pictures from my phone until late last night-so I figured I may as well wait until this morning at that point! Today I am going back to my exercise and work-out schedule for the first time, and I spent about an hour earlier writing out a weekly diet and exercise "plan." It's kind of just a guide right now, but once I've fine-tuned it I'll post it! Have a great day everyone, and stay strong!

LM

Don't worry--I'm back!

Hey everyone~
   I'm sorry that I've been away for so long, but I had a family emergency that I had to leave town for. The day after my last post, my father had a heart attack and had to be taken to the ER. However, once he was there, it became apparent that his condition was much more serious than it initially presented-and scans revealed that all four of his arteries were close to 98% blocked. He had to have an emergency quadruple-bypass, and myself and my three siblings flew to be with him and my mother at the hospital, as the doctors were not optimistic about his chances given his age (he turned 70 in December) and health (high blood pressure, high cholesterol, overweight, etc).
   Although it has been an extremely difficult few weeks, I am overjoyed to report that my Dad has proven the doctors wrong, and is finally gaining his strength back. Since my Mom works full time and we can't afford an at-home nurse, I stayed to take care of him at home until he was strong enough and well enough to get back his independence. He has a long road ahead still, and his doctors say that he'll probably need another month of bedrest and physical therapy until he can return to work-but has made so much progress! I'm so thankful to still have him with us, and now that he has been doing consistently well, I've been able to come home.
   I wanted to thank those who commented and offered advice or support in my last post regarding my possible job relocation. In light of everything that happened immediately after, I declined the offer to work in Boston, and am instead looking into taking something in Miami--so that I can be closer to my parents. That way, I could help my Mom and Dad if they need anything, or just be there incase anything unexpected happens again with my Dad's health. So, it looks like I'll be moving anyway, just not to the Northeast.
   Now, how has this all affected my ED and weight? Not very well, I'm afraid. As you can imagine, my ED symptoms have been pretty out of control with all of this stress. Before, I had gotten my bingeing and purging down to all-time low, and was mainly ristricting with exercise. I had been losing weight, and was on my way to my goal of 95 lbs by May 10th...oh, imagine that...today. Well, it all went downhill pretty quickly starting with the immediate minutes after I got the phone call from my Mom that my Dad was in surgery. To make a very long story with countless excuses short, I pretty much went back to lots of bingeing on comfort foods, sometimes up to 5 times a day-and was often too exhausted to purge as thoroughly as I usually do, or sometimes even at all. This resulted in my gaining back some of the weight that I had lost, and I'm currently at 108 lbs.
   I have really mixed feelings about this in a lot of ways. First, after seeing my father come so close to losing his life, and watching his strength and determination to live, part of me feels like an evil, ungrateful, petty excuse for a human being to even be thinking about my weight. But I suppose that is what is so debilitating about this disorder. Then, with as much bingeing as I was doing, part of me is actually kind of shocked and impressed in a strange way that I only gained 4 lbs, as it definitely felt like at least 10. When I finally got the courage to weigh myself after coming home, I wasn't thrilled-but I was relieved. And, finally, I am of course disappointed in myself for losing so much control and gaining any weight at all-and that I have to start all over with new goals and new dates.
   I have started going through all of my clothes and sorting them according to what should be donated, sold, and kept. I have drawers, suitcases, baskets, and huge sections of my closet just filled with things that don't fit me-whether they are too small or too big. I went to Target and spent almost $100 on some new workout clothes and equipment, and justified it by promising myself that for each new piece of clothing I bought I had to get rid of 4 old things, and that for each piece of equipment I got, I had to lose 3 lbs.
   I know that I work best when I have goals to reach and some sort of tangible occasion or reward at the end, so right now I am focusing on one of my best friends' wedding. She is getting married on June 12th, and it is this incredible "destination wedding" in Antigua. It is going to be absolutely gorgeous, and is obviously very tropical-which means a lot of sun, bathing suits, and "vacation" clothes. At the current moment, I would rather die than be seen in a bathing suit. But I refuse to have this trip and her day ruined by my insecurities-so I am starting back on my previous regimen as of today with the goal of being 99 lbs by the time I leave for Antigua. The way I see it, that is 9 lbs in a month, which seems pretty reasonable and not too outlandish. I don't want to set myself up for failure by trying to be 90-95 by then, because I'll just drive myself crazy. Well, crazier. Ha.
   Speaking of crazy, has anyone ever done colon hydrotherapy, also called colonics? It's something I saw for the first time on some documentary about the expensive outlandish things that Hollywood stars do to lose weight...so of course I looked up anything that boasted ridiculous results. Well, with colon hydrotherapy, there were accounts of losing between 5-20lbs in one visit! I know, I know...probably too good to be true. But, I started researching it and found a place locally that does it-and it's not as absurdly priced as I expected it to be-only $75 per session. Now, don't get me wrong, $75 is still a lot...but no more than I've spent on food, supplements, clothes, etc on any given day.
   For anyone who doesn't know what I'm talking about, here is a link. It's a little too awkward to explain in detail. Basically though. its a really intense 45 minute enema. Now, as gross and potentially embarrassing as the whole thing sounds, I just can't help but wonder if that would all be worth it to lose 5-20lbs in ONE HOUR! Well, I called and made an appointment for 9am this Wednesday, May 12th. For all the money I've wasted on other stuff that hasn't worked, and on food I've just thrown up, I figure what the hell, it's worth a try. So, I will be sure to write a post reviewing my experience, and whether or not it actually results in any weight loss.
   I think this post is more than long enough for now, so tomorrow I will be sure to discuss my new diet and exercise plan, as well as some new products I'm trying. Thank you again for your support!

LM