Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Closing Up Shop-New Home!

Hey guys! I decided to finally make a new blog that is more resourceful, useful, and informative to everyone instead of what had become essentially the live journal of a bulimic. This one is going to be way less venting and talking about myself and more about always providing the same kind of information that I love getting. If you want to check the new blog out, it's:

I've also gone ahead and tried to link everything with Tumblr and Twitter, which I'm sure had been unsuccessfull, lol. But here is the Tumblr to match: 

The Tumbler one is going to be only images. Not all thinspo...obviously some, but lots of other relevant subjects.

And of course, I still tweet my little heart out every day, feel free to follow me:

I decided not to delete this blog, because there are so many pictures and memories on it. So I'm going to leave it up in case anyone in their right mind ever did want to go back to it for some reason...I did have some good tips and tricks in the beginning, lol. 

I sincerely hope that everyone who followed me here will go check the new blog out, and that you all are doing as well as possible with whatever your goals are, whether they be of recovery or weight loss. So looking forward to having a blog again, and for once doing it right so that I don't stress over missing posts or writing these long dissertations of updates in my life. The new blog is going to be much cleaner, and more purposeful. It's not a diary, it's a tool and a resource for YOU GUYS!
<3 LM

Monday, June 20, 2011

New Apartment and Low-Cal Meal

Hey there!
   Well, just got back from a week in NYC that I spent finding an apartment for when I move up for law school. It's a really cute little studio right in the heart of Chelsea. I'm really excited, but now I have until the end of July to get my shit together and pack up. I'm going to have to get rid of SO MANY CLOTHES!!! The closet in the new place is ridiculously small compared to the one I have now, I'm going to have to buy a stand alone wardrobe just to keep HALF my things. Major closet purge to come. Hey, at least it's one kind of purge that won't make me feel like shit, lol.
Here's the new place:


 It's pretty small, but it's just for me, and I can't wait to be there! Open to any decorating tips for space-efficiency!

Anyway, I wanted to share one of my fav low-cal, high protein meals. It's so easy it's stupid and requires like zero preparation, which is a bonus when you're in a rush and don't want to cook-cook. I take a Morningstar Spicy Black Bean Burger (120cal) and microwave it for 1 minute. While that Microwaving, I throw a piece of Nature's Own low-cal wheat bread in the toaster (35-40cal). When the toast pops up, I throw on a slice of Kraft Singles 2% Light Cheddar (60cal), then put the bean patty on top so it gets nice and melty. Then I top the patty with a teaspoon of Pace Salsa Verde (less than 10cal) to make sure it's not too dry, and then I throw a little Tabasco Green Chili Hot Sauce on top for an extra kick. The whole thing is 230 calories, high in protein, has close to zero fat, and is very filling.


Obviously, any of these can be substituted for comparable products, and for even less cals you don't have to use the cheese. I just find that the 60 cals are worth it to me for the added taste and protein, especially since I tend not to go over 500-600 cals in a day anyway. When I'm working out every day I let myself have a little more, but since my torn rotator cuff it's been hard, all I can really do is run at the gym right now. Hope someone likes the idea! It's muy delicioso!


Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Triathlon is now a Duathlon, and I'm kind of a fuck up

    So, I was training at the gym last Friday and fucked up my shoulder. When I got home from working out, it was killing me, but I thought it was just normal soreness. I had spent an hour doing the breast stroke, so I figured I just over-exerted a bit and took some tylenol.
   Well, it wasn't getting any better, so I thought (like a dumbass) that maybe I just needed to try cracking it and stretching it out. Ya, that made it about 1,000x worse. So THEN I managed to continue my stupidity by thinking that a massage might help, so I used my certificate for a free massage that I had got at the last 5k I ran. Holy shit I've never had a more painful massage in my life!!! Had to make them stop after 15 minutes, went home and was almost in tears from the pain. I decided to go to Urgent Care,  where they told me my shoulder was dislocated and sent me to the ER.
    At the ER, they took more x-rays and determined that my shoulder was not, in fact, dislocated. I initially thought this was good news, but as it turns out what I actually have is a torn rotator cuff, which is apparently much worse. Arm's in a sling and I have to see an Ortho now to determine if it will heal on its own or needs surgery. Which means I can kiss the Triathlon goodbye, since there's no way my shoulder will heal in time to do a 1/4 mile swim by July 17th.
   The GOOD NEWS, is that the Triathlon I registered for also has a Duathlon division, where you just do biking and running. While the swimmers are doing the swim, the Duathlon competitors do a run. So it goes run-bike-run instead of swim-bike-run. Sucks I won't be able to get my first Tri under my belt, but I'm happy that I don't have to give the race up all together-especially since I've spent close to 1G on it now between the registration fees and the equipment.
   So that's the Triathlon news. In other news I had a bit of a nervous breakdown last Wednesday and binged and purged for the first time in over a month, and cut myself for the first time in about 6 months. Not gunna go into all the details, but let's just say my moving out of here to NY can't come fast enough. I talked to my therapist about it, and he said that I have to work on being able to express my frustration and anger outwardly to those I am frustrated and angry with rather than inwardly toward myself with self-destruction. My response: DUH! Story of my fucking life.
   Anyway, since the rotator cuff injury on Friday I haven't been able to work out, since there's not much I can do with my arm in a sling. This has been giving me a ton of anxiety, since I was exercising 3-4 hours a day. It was the only thing that gave me peace of mind, and made me feel ok about eating healthy meals. I mean, ya, they were still really low-cal, but they were meals and they were consistent.
   I've felt so gross and bloated without the workouts, so I've cut back on food a lot. I'm pretty much not eating anything but steamed broccoli, prunes, fiber one yogurt and bran cereal right now, and drinking water, green tea, and grapefruit juice laced with Epsom salt. It's sort of my take on a cleanse. I know when most people do cleanses they do only clear liquids and no solid foods, but I've found cleanses to be more effective when combined with some solid foods that are packed with fiber. And Epsom salt is a natural laxative, but doesn't taste too awesome, so it's best mixed with juice to cover the taste. Just no juices from concentrate or with added sugar or corn cyrup. All organic 100% grapefruit juice. Raspberies are packed with fiber too, but I don't really like eating them by themselves. I've been trying to throw a couple in the yogurt or cereal or put them in the blender with the grapefruit juice, but I don't always remember.
   I'm thinking this will pretty much be my diet until I can workout again, since I'm def not comfortable with the meals if I'm not burning it off. Luckily I'm still sort of on track, down to 103lbs. Although if I'd been working out for the past 3 days I know it could have been lower. Ugh. FML. Just want to get back under 100, that would make my life.
   OK well here's the scale shot for today:
Could be better, but could also be worse. Here's hoping for a better week! BTW, if anyone still reads this you can follow me on twitter at @FreeFromFood. I tweet like a zillion times a day, it's so much easier and quicker than sitting down and writing blog entries. I'm actually considering starting to use the blog primarily for diet tips, low-cal recipes, best foods and drinks for losing weight, etc. I ironically have a lot of nutritional, fitness, and dietician background, and always hear fellow ED girls talking about what they are doing, and a lot of it is flat-out misconceptions that only hurt in the long run. But you know the old saying "Do as I say, not as I do." Ya, it's always the ones that know the most about what's right that do the most wrong to their bodies! Exhibit A: Me. lol Whatever, I'll tweet whenever I post a good recipe or tip.


Monday, May 30, 2011


BlogPress is a piece of shit and hasn't worked in 3 days, despite it not being a free app and I shelled out $4.99 for it so that I could have a dependable app. FAIL. If it's still not working tomorrow I'll take the five dollar hit and fucking delete it and find another one. I was yelling at my phone like a crazy person, I realized I could just e-mail the pic to myself without going downstairs and getting the cord and importing to iPhoto. Yes, I'm that lazy sometimes. So here it is.
Now I'm for serial going to bed. Ciao!


The Official Diet/Exercise Update

Hola chicas! I'm kind of tired, have been doing a lot of work today, so my eyes are going a little bonkers from staring at the computer screen since like 10am. So, I'll just get straight to the main update.

Basically what I've been doing for about the past month or so is that I eat between 600-850 calories per day, and I work out between 2-4 hours per day. Since I went on hiatus from blogging, I had a period where I got all the way down to 97lbs, which made me so incredibly happy and proud of myself I can't even tell you.

I obviously took a picture to document reaching the lowest weight I'd managed to get to post-inpatient treatment. That fucking place really fucked me up. I entered at 95lbs and left at like 115! All they do is make you eat and eat and eat! I was so fat when I left, and it's been a struggle to get back down ever since. Anyway, this was awesome, but it unfortunately didn't last too long.

I decided I really wanted to enter a Triathlon before I move to NYC. It's something I've always wanted to do, and I figured I might as well do it while I'm still in warm, sunny Florida so that I'm not doing it in the freezing cold Hudson river or something. So, I got serious about preparing my body for that level of physical difficulty. I hired a personal trainer, and altered my diet to include more calories than I had been taking in, mostly in the form of protein shakes post-workout. Well, as was inevitable, with all the conditioning training we were doing plus the added protein, I got a lot stronger. Which is good, but that comes with gaining muscle mass, which adds weight, which was rough for me.

When I got up to 108, it was officially too much for me to handle, especially after my 97lbs victory that had been so recent. I went back to pure cardio and lowered the calories, and as of this morning am at 105. I took a picture, but it's on my iPhone not my laptop, and I don't really feel like hooking it up and importing it at the moment. But I'll prob just post it by itself after this post with my BlogPress app.

I am still technically "training" for the Triathlon, I haven't given that up (especially since I already paid the $69 registration fee), I'm just not doing conditioning anymore. The events are really all cardio anyway (swim-bike-run). While I do understand that stronger muscles help cardio performance, I just don't give a fuck. I'm not trying to win it, I'm trying to complete it. I'm pretty confident I can do that at a lower weight. My goal right now is to get back down to 100lbs in the next couple weeks, and then see from there if I want to go lower. I mean, I obviously do want to go lower, but it might not be smart to go too much lower than that until after the race. I am going to need to have some stamina.

That's the update for now. I'm going to start posting some recipes and products I've been using/am hooked on. I have so many meals that are under 250cal and still provide the full amount of fiber and protein for the day. Alright, I'm off to bed. Gotta be at the gym by 8:30am. Night!


Friday, May 27, 2011

Slightly better...

OK, couldn't get my old background to work for the effin life of me...but I did get another one to work. I'm going to leave it alone and let it grow on me. If I don't like it anymore by tomorrow I'll try again. Le sigh.



PS- If anyone can tell wtf is wrong with my background, template, design, etc...please let me know! I've been trying for the past two hours to fix it and I'm ready to PULL MY HAIR OUT! I use the "At the Cottage" background from ShabbyBlogs, and I already went and re-copied the new, updated code. It's just all do I get all the solid white to go away? Or make my sidebar images not be like a mile and a half apart from each other? This is gunna drive me nuts!