MIA

Hey guys~
   Sorry for being a little MIA the past two days. They have been going REALLY well, though! On Tuesday I went for a walk in the park with my friend, who is also trying to eat healthy, exercises, and lose weight. It's great because we can pretty much call one another anytime (that we know the other isn't working) and have a buddy to do WHATEVER!
   Well, we walked for a little over an hour and whenever I walk in the park I always bring my free weights to amp it up a notch, so I did 5lb arm exercises the whole time we walked. When I got back I tried something new for breakfast: A SMOOTHIE! But one I made myself, so I knew it wasn't packed with shit I didn't need. I put 1/2 cup raspberries (25cal), 1/2 cup strawberries (26.5cal), I Fiber One Vanilla Yogurt (50cal), 1 tblsp pineapple juice (8.5cal), 1/2 scoop of Vanilla Whey Protein (70cal), and about 4 ice cubes. It was DELICIOUS and incredibly filling and satisfying, all for 180cal. And really, it was a little too much for me to finish, so I didn't even drink it all-I put about 1/3 of it back in the fridge and had it later for lunch with 1 Wasa Crispbread (45cal), and 1 Red. Fat String Cheese (50cal).
   Then I had to have my friend drive me to the DMV to clear up and issue with my license, and that was probably the worst part of the day! The DMV definitely lived up to their reputation of being awful, slow, inefficient, and incompetent! I made an APPOINTMENT for 4:15, was there at 4:00, and there was a line of about 25 other people WITHOUT APPOINTMENTS in front of me. So when I asked if there was another line for people with appointments, like there SHOULD BE-I was told that there wasn't and that I just had to wait with everyone else...so why did they even take my appointment in the first place if it didn't matter??
   Also, when I called to make my apparently FAKE appointment, I asked the person what documents I needed to have with me, and I was told exactly what I needed: Insurance card, vehicle registration, current license, social security card, and proof that I did an online driver improvement course (Had the certificate and the receipt). Awesome-got it all. Well after waiting for a half hour in line, I get there and present all of my info and the guy tells me I NEED MY PASSPORT! WTF! Not only did the person I spoke to when I first called NEVER MENTION A PASSPORT, but WHY do I need a PASSPORT for this SIMPLE matter! Jesus christ! Ya, so I had to leave without getting anything fixed and I'm going back tomorrow (Fri) morning. Sorry for all the caps-lock yelling, definitely needed to vent that one out!
   Anyway, that was an epic FAIL, but afterwards to de-stress my friend and I stopped and got a manicure-which I was in desperate need of. I got this really cute NEON pink color which makes me feel fun and summery. The only real bump, diet-wise, was that after the manicure we were both really hungry (it was about 6:30 by now, hadn't eaten since noonish) and decided to stop at this strip mall that has a Pita Pit and a Mochi right next to each other! For anyone who doesn't know those chains, Pita Pit is this awesome fast-food alternative that you pick what you want (vegetables, sauces, meat-whatever) and they grill it in front of you and put it in a Pita. So, it's pretty healthy compared to a lot of shit. BUT I still don't like adding the extra carbs of a Pita, so you can turn any of their Pitas into a salad. I basically just got a bowl with lettuce and every vegetable they had (except Sprouts-gross lol). Just used vinegar for dressing, so I know there was close to nothing in it, but it was really filling.
   The salad isn't the issue-fucking MOCHI is the issue! Again, for anyone who doesn't know of it, Mochi is this fat-free frozen yogurt chain that is supposedly really healthy and has fresh fruit toppings, etc. They claim that there is only 25-30cal per oz, and it is self-serve, so you can fill it however many ounces you want. Here's the thing: they only publish the nutritional information for their ORIGINAL flavor, but they have like 20 ridiculous flavors like "Red Velvet," "Cookies and Cream," "Coconilla," "Almond," "Chocolate..." you get the idea, the list goes on and on! So I don't understand why they don't have the information for ALL of the flavors, and when I asked, they told me "they are all the same." I find that VERY DIFFICULT to believe. So, I always get nervous when I go there, because even though its delicious, I hate not knowing what I'm eating. To me, if you don't publish the information, it could be ANYTHING! Red Velvet could have 25 calories per oz OR it could have 1000 calories per oz! But, ya, so we had Mochi and I got half Red Velvet and half Coconilla with fresh strawberries on top-it was really great. But when I got home, even though I knew that I probably hadn't had that much...the mystery of the Mochi really got in my head, and I ended up purging just in case.
   The rest of the night was fine, no binges, and I worked out more: did the treadmill for around 30 minutes, my little Shake Weight video, and a 30 minute Yoga podcast. Then at night my friend and I went in the hot tub to unwind a bit and soothe our muscles (shes been working out a lot, too).
   Yesterday was really great, diet and exercise-wise...but I did have a really intense therapy session that was a little rough. I'll spare you the minute-by-minute, meal-by-meal for the sake of length and time-but for the whole day I stayed under 400cal, and I did my park workout (jump rope and abs) for 45 minutes plus Shake Weight and a little swimming. The session, though, was really crazy. I'm also not going to go entirely into it, because it's really personal, but basically I'm with a therapist right now that I REALLY love, and it is the first time I've ever been this open, honest, and comfortable with my therapist before.
   However, after finally reaching this level with him, I am moving in a little over two months, and will lose him. This comes right at a time when we JUST started bridging some incredibly intense topics, that I wasn't ready to talk about before-the kind of stuff that it takes a year or two to even come out in therapy. I really felt like we were on the verge of a major breakthrough with some of my trauma issues-and now I'm leaving and will have to start all over again with someone else...that is, if I even continue therapy once I move. Part of me is just so frustrated at the thought of having to start all over with someone, that it actually angers me to the point of a physiological reaction. Just the idea of losing all the time I've spent with my current doctor and even having to go through the process of looking for someone else, and then having that awkward first session, and taking another year or more to build up trust and a relationship....wow, my blood pressure is rising just typing it. I was near a full-blown panic attack in the office yesterday.
   Anyway, this post is way longer than I meant it to be already. I just had some breakfast (meal total=80cal), wanted to take some time to write and plan out the rest of my day before getting started. Have a lot of work to do today, not sure if I'll be able to post again tonight-but I'll try. I'm meeting with someone tonight around 5:45 to finish up a project we've been doing the past 5 months or so, and it should be very *interesting* based on the last "meeting" we had...if you catch my drift, lol. Until next time ~ Keep up all the great work, everyone! And stay strong!

LM